Untruth? Truth?

Where is the line between honesty & dishonesty?  Truth between a lie?  What is considered being truth or untruthful?  I suppose it varies from person to person depending on their beliefs.  What might be thought of as untruthful for one is not for another.

This seems to be the case with M and I.  I am struggling to understand how the man I love, who said he loved me could lie to me, to my face, and not blink an eye.  And despite a year of recovery still adamantly deny being dishonest to me.  This is a man that if you were to ask him a simple, meaningless question can't lie.  It is written all over his face.  So how can he lie so easily about real things, things that matter, that have the potential to destroy his family and claim he wasn't dishonest?

Is there a difference between simply omitting certain details and actual dishonesty?  In some circumstances, sure I guess, or does it have more to do with motive rather that what is or is NOT being said?  

Here are a few definitions--
      dishonest:  characterized by lack of truth, honesty, or trustworthiness;
                         deceptive
      dishonesty:  lack of honesty or integrity; disposition to defraud or
                          deceive
     deceive:  to be false to; beguile, delude, mislead
     untruthful:  discrepancy between what is said and fact or reality
     lie:  to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive, to create a false
            or misleading representation
     omit:  to leave out or leave unmentioned

To me they sound quite similar, and all too familiar.  For 15 years my husband lied to me about his *little* problem or in his words he "didn't tell me everything about his struggle."  He would come home from work and be a good, attentive dad and really, a good husband--helpful, engaged, etc.  Yet his life at work or on business trips was completely different.  When I would ask how his day was, what he had going on, etc he would tell me just enough to placate me.  He would omit certain details like um, "I spent 3 hours viewing porn and fantasizing at work today."  Or, "I really want to get off the phone because the computer is calling my name.  Sorry you are home dealing with the kids alone while I am fantasizing and taking care of myself".  His intent was to deceive me, to hide his other life.

Knowing that my husband wants every other woman and finds pleasure watching women be degraded is excruciatingly painful.  However, the dishonesty and his unwillingness to recognize it as such makes me see red.  Like I wanna rip off his head and throw it across the room, RED! More than that though it will be a death sentence to our marriage.  I wish he could see and really understand that.  Just be honest, damn it!

It reminds me of what children are told a lot, "You might get in trouble for doing (fill in the blank).  However, if you lie about it you will get in trouble for the wrong done AND for lying."  He doesn't get it.

I simply can't tolerate any more dishonesty, being untruthful, lies, deception, omissions, NOTHING!  I need complete transparency in all things not just the stupid addiction.  ALL things!